Usually I feel like powerful and cute as hell clothing-wise when the weather gets colder. This year is has been an exception in many ways, including how cute I dress and how often. Today I looked nice to go to the laundry room and take out garbage for about 4 hours before my sweater became too hot for the comparative heat wave we’ve been experiencing (80s now vs. the 60s and 70s last week).
Sweater that’s too warm for the transitional temperatures: Loft. Joggers covered in cat hair and mysterious crumbs: gifted, because I asked for sweatpants from the in-laws for my birthday. Goth Fembot/Ariana Grande Lite slippers, Chinese Laundry (please be careful going down the stairs if you get these, I need to scuff up the soles because I almost slipped and fell down the stairs the first time I wore them). Long, very screamy patched tabby: rescued.
It’s been years in the unlearning, but I’m slowly learning to quit the annoying habit of martyring myself for other people’s feelings. On the whole I’ve improved leaps and bounds, but quarantine has been a bit of a regression on that front; I haven’t been amazing at staying balanced and taking care of my mental health even if I preach it to friends or loved ones who have apologized for not being as in touch or communicative as they think they should be. Part of that is learning to be kinder to myself, and not to use words like indulge or treat when it’s just taking care of myself; self-care is not a privilege, it’s a necessity, and it’s not just bubble baths or shopping sprees or coloring books.
Like most people, in the last few months I’ve been redefining words comfort and luxury. I have been incredibly fortunate that I and my husband both have steady income and have it significantly easier than many right now…which is probably part of the reason I’ve been pushing down any negative feelings. Why am I complaining when I can pay bills, still have a roof over our heads, and we and our families are healthy? I don’t know. I’m learning to be nicer to myself and allow room for some of those feelings when they happen, and instead turn to more of the comforting habits and rituals that I’ve adopted in the last few months – stuff that mostly doesn’t cost money or put me in a spiral.
Here are a few things that improve my mindset or environment,, make me feel more comfortable or productive, or are just fun and feel good.
Continue reading “Creature Comforts”
Waking up has been hard. Mid-March, it was easy to begin the day early, optimistic that I was saving gas, relieved that I didn’t have to necessarily cross my Ts or dot my Is appearance-wise to do my work well, secure in the knowledge that I could stay home and not dive nose first into pandemic-related catastrophe. On the frivolous side: no frantic order packing before I had to rush off to make a reasonable commute, no scramble to find an unwrinkled shirt or make sure I didn’t wear the same pants 3 days in a row, no routine pressure to fluff in eyelashes or somehow try to make my hair look like it had been washed in the last few days.
Continue reading “Awake”
lost an expensive end for my conch piercing, our “fuck you COVID” takeout picnic did not go as planned, everything is still a dystopian nightmare, I took a floating break from social media don’t want to return to social media again
my conch piercing didn’t close, I ordered puzzle books and book books, I got these beautiful flowers from Brave that Bob has not destroyed, my hair is rose goldish, and I took a floating break from social media don’t want to return to social media again
Candle moods, notes, and musings while I burn through my pile of candles in an effort to streamline my candle shelf. Here we go.
Continue reading “Sick Burns, vol. 1”